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26 March 2008

What's in the Bag, Sir?

"Union officials ... say a ... supervisor tried to cut down on lengthy bathroom breaks by telling workmen to use disposable urinal bags in the field."

Work smarter not harder right?

As one who has, um, tinkled in utilized more than my share of empty Gatorade bottles (wide mouth dontchaknow), coffee cans and the like, I have often wished for such a clever device.

"The manager distributed the bags to 25 male field technicians, telling them not to waste time leaving a job site to search for a public bathroom..."

Now this reportedly occurred in the mountains of Colorado. Let's picture this: male, field technicians working in a "sparsely populated area" in the majestic Rockie Mountains...and not being comfortable whizzing outdoors? Yeah right. Letmetellya, peeing outdoors is as close to a spiritual male rite as having our first beer. It is primal, it connects us to nature and yes, it serves a biological need to celebrate our uniquely male efficiency at performing #1.

Most readers already have this nailed. Can't you just hear it now: 'Boss, I gotta pee. Be back later, after I drive around for a couple of hours looking for a flush toilet that smells like lavender - in this sparsely populated area. And while I'm gone, I'll be stopping in to see my gomatta, then picking up a 72 oz Big Gulp for me and each of the boys so we can repeat the process again as soon as I get back. Please forgive the fact that when I applied for a job as a field technician that I didn't think that it actually meant I had to work my days in the field.'


"We deal with a lot of silliness in corporate America, but you've got to admit, it takes the freakin' cake," says the head duck union dude.

Actually, he's half right. There is a lot of silliness in corporate America but us independent thinkers don't have to admit that this was one of those examples, regardless how far out it sounds. The silliness to me is a union defending the right of its member to suck the productivity from its employer under the guise of having to go to the loo.

The company that makes the pee bags, American Innotek, has been doing so for 20 years and they started coincidentally with the same industry (utility) that is the subject of this story. Perhaps even the union spokesman dude used one or two. American Innotek also provides portable rest stop bags and related products for the military, emergency services and even distributed 2.5 million of them in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. There is clearly a demand AND a supply.

Just wait until the teenagers find a way to light them on fire and then the paper bag will be out of business....

There now, didn't you miss my high brow topics? :)

And so you're thinking, Mike has been gone for nearly 2 weeks writing this piece of, uh, literature? Not exactly, I pulled it from the pile of plainly preposterous news stories I have read recently. After 108 straight days of blogging, I wanted to see what it felt like to not post every day. Don't fret, I have plenty more to say so please stay tuned....

Now is another great opportunity to grab your Daddios Daily Dose FEED so that when a new post is posted, you will notified via the free method of your choice. Check out the Feed Me! link on the right panel.


Dana said...

Glad you're back! Believe it or not I really missed your humor!

Debbie Yost said...

Uhm, what about the women workers? As I am not about to aim into a bag and have never used a gatoraid bottle, wide mouth or otherwise, I think I will stick to squatting behind a tree. Ok, I don't have to do that often these days, but my best friend works for the Department of Conservation and on outings she will opt for the tree instead of trecking all the way to a toilet. In fact, I prefer the open air to some of those nasty port-a-potties or out houses!

Michael M. said...

Thanks Dana. I shall choose to believe: "you really did miss my humor" :)

Michael M. said...

Hi Deb: I looked into the company - (says man with small bladder) and they make some nifty unisex devices. Go figure. Husband & wife founders. They can say they are king and Queen of Pee. They even have G rated videos on their site on how to use their collection bags (really).

So, sounds like women appreciate the, uh, great outdoors too, eh?

(And no I don't have a connection to the pee people.)

Two Date Diva said...

Glad to have you back, I was about to send out the troops to look for you. Maybe they should just give out gatorade to keep everyone hydrated and then use the empties as you did. Might save a bit of money.

Michael M. said...

Hey Thanks Diva! Great post today btw.

Kat Wilder said...

Welcome back.

You know, I have always taken a secret pleasure in the fact that my company pays me to take care of my, um, normal bathroom needs. And I drink a lot of tea during the day ....

Michael M. said...

Thanks Kat!