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01 February 2008

Neo Who?

Not sure if he still does, but Bob Levey of the Washington Post used to hold a monthly Style Invitational where he would invite contestants to create a "new word that describes some aspect of the modern condition." He called them Neologisms.

(nē-ŏl'ə-jĭz'əm) noun (1): a new word, usage, or expression (2) : a word coined by a psychotic that is meaningless except to the coiner.

Well, let the psychotics rejoice:

  1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  4. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
  6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  9. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
  10. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  11. Glibido: All talk and no action.
  12. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  13. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  14. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  15. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Clever, eh?


Tismee2 said...

Had a right old giggle at this. I had to read some of them a couple of times to 'get it' but that's par for the course for me anyway.

can I nick a couple to post on my blog?

L.A. Mama said...

You made me giggle again! I loved #6, #9 & # 14 the most! Of course, I am such a Karma person so the Karmageddon was just so funny!

For some reason, #14 was hilarious to me even though I don't believe in Satan. Maybe that is why it was funny :)

Dana said...

Arachnoleptic Fit was my favorite. In fact, I just had one of those this morning!

Michael M. said...

Nick away Gail!

Michael M. said...

Dana: I wonder what they call the dance when people find a roach crawling at their feet?