The male ego...one of our worst enemies. Oh sure, women have one too (not enemies, silly, egos!), but not generally of the same epic and often catastrophic proportions as some men.
Sports cars have been leased, muscle shirts have been worn, wars have been waged, hair has been moussed and grand stands have been stood on in the name of male ego. Fortunately, most of these dudes are laughable, embarrassing and harmless.
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
Unfortunately though, not all ego-maniacs are self made ... and not all are harmless.
I occasionally make mention of the monster's that hurt children. There are too many of them and they continue to come from somewhere. While I am not going to pretend to be literate on the psychology of what makes a man hurt a child or a woman, I will suggest that if they are not allowed in the house in the first place, they would not have as easy of a time committing their heinous crimes. Seems simple, but for example, the next time you read about a child that is hurt by a non biological male (boyfriend, step-dad, etc.), look carefully for the telltale signs of unwarranted permissiveness and access by the custodial mother. Sorry ladies, but nobody should need a man so badly that your protective instincts are traded for a man's 'affection'.
It does bear repeating....we do more of what we are reinforced for doing. Both desired and undesired behaviors. If a male can treat you or your child like garbage and not receive a negative consequence (an ass-kicking to the curb, jail or a come-to-jesus lecture), or worse, receives a reward (an abject woman begging for him to stay..."I'll do anything", she'll plead) then expect more of the same, with an increasing frequency.
In one of the books I recommend on the right panel called the Gift of Fear, there is an abrupt, yet true position about these men who assault. The first time it happens, the female is a victim. The second time she is a volunteer. The book is a must read for every woman and can be quickly ordered by clicking through my link to the Amazon store.
Be Right or Be Happy?
Entertainers have made entire careers from making comedy out of the differences between men and women. They'll say that "we either get to be right, or we get to be happy...but not both." Is that true? Personally, I think the antithesis to being happy is not in trying to be right, but in trying too hard to be self righteous.
If we expect to always be right, or worse we expect our mate to always be wrong, then the foundation is not strong enough to build on yet. Or if we do, the structure of our relationship crumbles like a shanty during an earthquake. Out of the nearly 1/2 of all failed marriages, I suspect many failures have their origin's in differing expectations.
But by synchronizing our expectations, harmony often ensues and the foundation hardens. And the stronger the foundation, the more that can be built on top of it.
Sounds ideal right? Easier said than done of course. In the real world, there are plenty of obstacles and conflicts that threaten the fiber of our relationships. Please tune in for Part 5 of Mating Growl and we will cover Relationship Conflict, Sharing and How Not to Get Skinned Alive.
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