09 February 2008
It's The Law, Ma'am
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you will have to pee.
Law of the Workshop - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability - The probability of your being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone - If you dial a wrong number, you will never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law - If you change lines or traffic lanes, the line/lane you just left will start to move faster than the one to which you just moved. (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When your body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone with whom you do not want to be seen.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove that a machine will not work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics - The severity of any itch is inversely proportional to the distance you have to reach to scratch it.
Law of the Theater - At any public event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will be the last to arrive.
Law of Coffee - As soon as you sit down to enjoy a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee gets cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers - If only two people are in a locker room, they will always have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets - The probability of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering is directly proportional to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Location - No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible, providing you do not know anything about that to which you are talking.
Brown's Law - If the shoe fits, it is ugly.
Oliver's Law - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law - As soon as you find a product that you really like, the company will stop making it. (this one is also true every time!)
Doctors' Law - If you do not feel well, make an appointment to go see your doctor. By the time you get to the doctor's office, you will feel better. If you do not make an appointment, you will continue to feel sick.