The 4 Answers Response Leaders Know Before Everyone Else?

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02 February 2008


To further yesterday's theme, The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

  1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

  2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

  3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

  4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

  5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

  6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

  7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

  8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

  9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

  10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

  11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

  12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

  13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

  14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

  15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

  16. Circumvent, (n) An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Now those are some creative folks....


Deb in OPKS said...

#3, that's me. I give up. I was #4 on my way to Vegas. I stopped drinking immediately. I don't mind getting a little tipsy occassionally, but a hate making a drunken ass out of myself!

Tismee2 said...

I had a wonderful mental image of Friseetarianism!
Thanks for the daily chuckle!

Dana said...

I know an awful lot of Oysters