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16 January 2008

We're Checking for Splinters...

Ripped from the headlines.....

"Man: NY hospital forced rectal exam"

What?

Well, it seems that this poor chap hit his head on a wooden beam and went to the hospital for stitches. While there, according to him, the hospital staff held him down, drugged him and forcibly conducted a rectal exam. Then, after being handcuffed to his bed for 3 days, they let him go.

What?

I can't imagine we will ever hear the hospital's side of the story but I bet it's a doozy. Wonder what prompted them to check the poop chute?

Perhaps they were just being thorough because they thought he really said "I ran into a STUD and now my head hurts?" or "try going in THIS WAY to get to the best angle on the where the ouchie is". Shall I go on? hehe.

HIPAA (health privacy laws) allow for steep penalties for disclosing personal information about patients these days so the stream of ER humor has been slowed to a trickle. There are some black market ER pictures of patients that were being stupid, er, I mean unsafe but mostly we have to use our imagination to fill in the back story.

In any case, I am pro-hospital. In fact, my policy for most conundrums is to have "professionals do what professionals do". And if you saw some of my do-it-myself fix it projects, you would understand where that policy came from! If I have unexplained stomach pain, the person who has the many years of documented training is generally much higher on my list than my buddy who watches ER and McGyver and has a warm butter knife. Plus the hospital that took such good care of Tonya and the unborn Ethan for those oh so many torturous weeks has a special place in heaven and in my heart as far as I'm concerned.

Hopefully Mr. Sore Britches will get answers to why he went in for stitches and came out 3 days later with a sore bung hole. Or perhaps he has the answer and he is just wants a different one. Since head trauma can lead people to some very unlikely places....I'd bet that however it turns out that he will be wearing a helmet (and maybe even a chastity belt) next time.

"No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife in the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style." - Steven Brust, Author

2 comments:

Deb in OPKS said...

I hate hospitals. It's not because I think they are bad. They've been there when my family has needed them. It's just that my family (immediate and extended) has needed them more than I'd like in the last couple years.

Michael M. said...

Yikes. A neccessary evil I suppose. We still grimace when we pass the one where Tonya spent so much time before the E-man was born too.

Hope you and yours are enjoying a healthier 2008.