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05 January 2008

Want a la Mordida?

Yep. Except for the black hats, dark alleys, chewed cigar butts and a henchman named Rocko, Tonya and I are very much practitioners in the dark art of bribery. Scandalous huh?

Well, actually that only applies if you are 11.5 years old and want, more than life itself, to go to the American Girl Store. Emily has, shall we say, a hankering, to go visit this mecca of elementary school greed and lust; think of a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, 'tween girl style. (Note to the less than hip among us: 'tweens are kids that are in between being a kid and being a teen. Another sales category created by those devious marketing types).

The bribe? We take her and her friend to the American Girl Store...and she works like a serf around the house until we are tired or we run out things for her to clean, straighten, paint, remodel and/or repair, whichever comes first.

Make no mistake, motivation is a powerful thing. And she is powerfully motivated to pay off this bribe.

If you are not familiar with this latest wallet sucking phenom called American Girl, ask any tween girl or search for them on the search bar to the right. And for those dying to ask....yes, they are "hencho en China." I had the opportunity to visit our local American Girl store in the run up the holidays to obtain last year's rave new doll, 70's Julie (soundtrack sold separately!). If you have never been to such a castle of crap, er, I mean palace of playthings, think of 2 floors of screaming pre-pubescent girls in stimulus overload racing from display to display while Mom's wax sentimental and Dad's wince. You know, kind of like when Tonya goes with me to the Home Depot.

So as long we find things that Emily wants that badly, we will redirect that wanton desire by holding it hostage in exchange for something we need. I heard a new American Girl doll is coming out soon so I am already making plans to have Emily re-roof the house. Folks, don't let Judge Wapner fool you, America was built by a system of bribes, payola and good ol' fashion arm twisting. And what an outstanding lesson and tradition to pass along to our children too, huh?

Our Spanish brothers and sisters call a bribe "la mordida" or, the bite. Hopefully our tactic doesn't come back to mordida our buttida.


suburbancorrespondent said...

Do I understand you correctly, in that you gave her the bribe before she did the work? And that worked out okay? Never has in our house, that's why I'm wondering. I might as well give the kids dessert first as long as they promised to eat their veggies afterwards.

Michael M. said...

Heck no! Payment on delivery in our house too...yessireebob. Otherwise we would get played like a fiddle....

Plus, we grind up veggies and put them IN her dessert. :)

Tismee2 said...

I quickly levitated out of bed like when I hear one of the dog's starting to gurgle and hack with their ever so distinctive 'I'm about to hurl my stomach contents on the carpet' sounds.

I do this!!!! It's like one of those instinctive sounds. It's a can-I-get-down-there-before-it-ruins-the-carpet sounds,a nd invariably they hurl just as you get them to the doorstep!

Oh how I chuckled!

came over from organized doodles by the way. I love your blogs, they are very funny and I love how you wander off subject, like me and I try so hard not to.

Happy New Year!


Tismee2 said...

OOps think this got posted on the wrong blog. as supposed to be a comment on the blog where your emergency alarm went off!


Michael M. said...

Someone could be loading the china cabinet in the back of a truck while blasting AC/DC and I wouldn't wake up....but if a dog starts to hack - I can cover 10 feet in a single bound!

Thanks Gail!