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12 January 2008

Befuddled

I've gotten some nice reinforcement lately about the interesting, albeit mostly socially insignificant, information that is dispensed around here. Thanks. Really.


So before anyone starts to think that all of that information comes from some limitless reservoir of knowledge (yeah, that's the ticket!), I thought I would take a moment to list a few befuddling questions that I don't have a freakin' clue about. Perhaps some of you will.

  1. Liquid goes in, chunks come out? What the ...? Whitish, pristine, pure and silky VBM (Vegetarian Breast Milk) is custom delivered to Ethan's gullet. Within a couple of hours, the most gawd awful chunky, gooey, smelly, dark colored and putrid substance comes out the other end. I know it's called the Pooter of Terror and all, but please, does he have to out do even that title? Kind of like when Emily went into the fun house at the state fair all clean and happy, and came out covered in foam and was unhappy. Except times 10. Befuddling.

  2. Why are there so many people that think that illegal immigrants aren't doing anything illegal? And no this isn't a referendum on immigration. It is just befuddling that it has become such a punch line that Americans are 'okay with Illegal Immigrants....just as long as they don't break any laws.' Duh. Knock first, get your 'propers', then use the door, will ya padre?

  3. Why is America captivated and we drop everything to go search for and rescue or recover a pretty white girl when she goes missing? Yet, when a minority girl goes missing under the same circumstances, there is nary a mention of it and a mere fraction of the effort? This is more common that you think. Having been on more than a handful of searches, rescues and recoveries for these young ladies, I know that a rapid intervention is critical. When we show up and all the news channels are represented, that is a good sign because they will all be showing the person's picture on the news, which dramatically increases the chances of a successful conclusion. Depending on the part of town though - you know what I'm saying - we may be lucky to get an extra officer for safety never mind any media attention. Befuddling.

  4. Why do some people get and stay happily married and some don't? I browsed a few blogs recently from different blog-ites (yes, I made that up) that were opining on their own situation. Be it as a married person, a divorced person, a single person or a person who likes dogs (don't ask). I am damn lucky, this I know. I am in love with an incredible chica and she thinks I am pretty cool too. Oh yeah, we procreated too (hubba hubba). We talk, we collaborate, we argue, we commiserate, we laugh our ever lovin' arses off and we, well, have a good, mostly balanced and usually sensible life together. Neither of us had that the first time around though so we know the difference. Yet - and I assure you - we are not any more special, lucky, blessed or rich than any of the blog-ites....so what gives? Befuddling.

  5. Why do people call a food item that has stuff placed on one (1) piece of bread a sandwich? Our forefathers escaped persecution, lack of dentists and bad weather to come to America so we could use 2 pieces of bread and proclaim our sandwich dominance. Why are we now conceding the 2nd piece of bread? Isn't it like taking a lion, shaving his mane, cutting off his rocks (hahaha!), putting him in a zoo ... and then still calling him the King of the Jungle? Befuddling.



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9 comments:

hot tamale said...

Just as America accepts top-less bars, we should accept top-less sandwiches!

Deb in OPKS said...

I'm not crazy enough to touch those! I did like #1, though. Can you say cottage cheese?

Dana said...

Had to laugh at #2 - it's a bit of a sore spot for me!

Tismee2 said...

....and why do men sit in their cars and pick their noses? It's lke they think we can't see them. Maybe women do it too but I have never sen one.


.... and why do footballers(soccer players?) have to snot and spit just as the camera's hit them? Either they hold it all in and wait until they see the camera pointing in their direction or they are doing it all the time. other sports players don't do it so why do they have to?

BTW what sort of dog do you have?

Average Girl In Average World said...

"We talk, we collaborate, we argue, we commiserate, we laugh our ever lovin' arses off and we, well, have a good, mostly balanced and usually sensible life together."

That is a great description for a healthy marriage, IMO. Why do some marriages fail? I think most people just give up, you know they can always find another person to fill the void. I am happy in my marriage, and thankful everyday I have the kind of marriage most people are looking for.

Michael M. said...

Hot Tamale: touche'...but if the 'sandwich' were topless, it is no longer a sandwich...it is a tostada-on-bread. :)

Michael M. said...

Deb: And what's with the color? it goes in whitish and comes out all sorts of colors? Kind of like...spoiled Pimento Cheese?

Michael M. said...

tismee2: What? You mean you see us doing that?

(Sierra is a Golden Retriever and "The Moo" is a precocious Black Lab)

Michael M. said...

AVAW: Agreed. 1/2 the battle is just in never quitting. Too many people think of their marriage as having an exit door, so they always have that escape route nearby....