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12 December 2007

Gone Swimmin'

I went swimming today.

Well, kind of. I debated breastfeeding in the estrogen ocean known as iVillage.com. Yikes.

So, how 'bout them Cowboys? (he says trying to regain his confident, manly swagger).

Actually, it wasn't too bad. I learned a lot, gained even more respect for what mothers do for the little peeps among us and was reminded how darn lucky I am to have a wife who works with me on being a parent instead of claws my eyes out. Some of the women were writing from prison, I'm sure of it.

What the bleepity bleep (to Emily: how's that?) was I thinking you ask? Well, when I was a young man, I learned a valuable, lasting lesson. By reading Cosmo and Glamour, I could learn a heck of alot more about those beguiling women folk than if I read GQ or Field & Stream. It was a bit of an epiphany for my testosterone laden 20 year old, uh, brain and women started to make a whole lot more sense to me then. Some might say I married my first wife for her Cosmo and Glamour collection, but alas, she ended up having her eye on another guy's Fields & Streams instead. We live. We learn. So I later was in the right place at the right time and entered into my relationship with Tonya Terrific with every ounce of luck, determination, commitment, love and handbag advice than those novice GQ readers would ever have. What a lucky duck I am.

But I digress....

iVillage and the like are parenting water holes. Once I get the hang of it, I will be able to learn more real life parenting tips than in a week of Sunday's using other data gathering methods. And with a newborn, I have some catching up to do. Perhaps too, there are some future Daddios Daily Dose readers there. Wouldn't that pump up the fun?

Here are some excerpts from my visit on a couple of boards in the village today:

"you suck"

"I'm not sure of your point"

"I'm trying to see things your way, but I can't get my head up my butt"

"It's refreshing to see a dad's voice around here!"

"You are right and we are all wrong, where have you been all of of our lives?" (Okay, so I embellished that last one...give a guy a dream will ya?)

Maybe I should plan my day more carefully next time. I promised Tonya that I would keep a light schedule this week so that Ethan and I could get into a rhythm. So in the absence of a plan other than to jive with Ethan, I allowed myself to be washed adrift in the sea of estrogen. Perhaps I shouldn't have taken her so literally?

So what does a man debate a bunch of experienced mom's about breastfeeding and parenting on an on-line message board? Well, apparently not very much. Here are my takeaways:
  • There are apparently 7 year olds in Australia that still breastfeed. (The original point of debate. Not whether there should be 7 year olds or breastfeeding down under, but whether a 7 year should still be breastfeeding at age 7).
  • There are, in the US, only about 17% of mothers that breastfeed beyond one year, and only about 6% continue beyond 18 months, as of 2003. (Thanks Toni).
  • Those 6% are collectively lying in wait on iVillage, like lionesses in the Serengeti that haven't eaten since last month, for a man to suggest that long term breastfeeding might promote dependency in kids.
  • There is a concept called Child Wed Leaning, where presumably children in 3rd world countries get married on the side of a steep mountain. Wait, this just in....the nuevo concept is actually Child Led Weaning. Oh, that makes much more sense. No wonder they were offended!
So, tonight I would like to think I am a better husband ("hey honey, I took one for the Team and went and tried to get edu-ma-cated") and a better parent (I did soften my stance a bit on the dependency issue thanks to some noble mothers who kindly and graciously fed me some helpful, balanced info). And in case anyone is wondering, my status as a non-milk producer is still intact so my position on breastfeeding is still happily subordinate to Ethan's Mumsy.

So in conclusion: breasts are good, breast milk is very good and for today's safety message, remember to take your water wings with you if you go swimming in the ocean without a lifeguard.


2 comments:

don.brown said...

LOL.
Be careful where you wander on the internet. There are dangerous places out there!

Michael M. said...

Now you tell me Don! At least I was home before the street lights came on...