To be blunt, a Good Loser is still a loser.
Recreational Sports can be entertaining. They provide an outlet for exercise and dressing up in a uniform, and well, that is about all that is guaranteed. Some people approach recreational sports with an interest in also winning a few contests along the way. In a simpleton’s view, sports that intentionally KEEP SCORE intend to produce a winner and a loser. The part of recreational sports to me that is entertaining is that people engage in them without considering what is needed in order to not lose.
For you big thinkers out there....yes we lost the tournament, BIG. But truly, being outscored by a better team is inspiring and is fodder for the next practice. On a micro level, that is why Emily is playing up a level - to play against better players, which in turn will give her the opportunity to be better herself. At the team level, we see all the time small under skilled teams taking on titans and refer to using the game as a measurement of how they are doing, looking at which players can step up, etc.
Being outclassed, outplayed, and voluntarily handing our butts over to our competitor to chew on at their leisure is not okay by any measure though. There is nothing recreational about that.
In my other business, I have learned that no matter what walk of life we come from, a little pressure and challenge produces 1 of 2 types of people:
1- those that internalize the challenge and seek a self remedy to improve.
2- those that externalize the challenge and seek others to blame.
I am concerned about the children that are being reinforced for exhibiting type 2 characteristics. What category is your family in?